"IF GOD HAD A TAIL" - Archive.Orgより紹介(抜粋・翻訳途中)
If God Had a Tail (もし神にシッポが生えていたら)はある旅人が出会ったホームレスの話である。ホームレスの願い事はシッポを生やすことであった(俺がモデルなのか？いや、俺だったら自分を含めた男たちにシッポを生やしたり消したりする能力が欲しい)。
以前は背景に色があったためもう少し読みやすかった。今は白い背景に黄色い文字なので読みにくく反転が必要だ。この話の翻訳をやりたいと思う。
When monkeys are ambiguous will we begin to see things differently? When all the world’s primates are seen only as spectacles to be enjoyed by the rest of us and not appreciated for their true value, will we think of ourselves as kings of the world? Has any one really learned to exploit them for their fur and meat?
Sure they are fun to have as pets, they are a favorite at circuses and zoos, but would you want your daughter to marry one? Would you want to live next door to one? Have you seen how they live? Have you seen their toilet habits? Have you seen their sexual habits? Have you seen how they behave in the grocery store? I won’t even mention that whole thing about throwing their feces. On second thought, maybe we could stand to learn a thing or two from them.
Moving about as we do from place to place on this planet, it isn’t so easy to leave the world behind, is it? Have you tried living without it? I remember a time when I was hitchhiking from home to a friend’s house in the dead of summer. I only had a toothbrush, a sock, some ointment and some used underwear with me. Try doing that in some communist country. Anyway, everything went fine until I met a derelict under a railroad overpass. He said that he had been there for three days and asked if he could travel with me for a while. I saw no harm in it so allowed him to accompany me. He seemed rather nervous and his dog seemed a bit concerned. I didn’t know what to make of all of this. If I hadn’t been only five years old I would have likely ignored the signs but I could not. As we traveled on, I grew increasingly suspicious. He kept telling stories about how he had killed various drifters, farmers, schoolchildren, and vagrants. I figured that he just liked to talk and pretended to be interested in what he said. He talked of decapitating, mutilating, cannibalizing, slashing, stomping, and various other words that I can’t mention here. He was a likeable old fellow for the most part. I really didn’t have much to say to him. I had no sordid stories to tell, no interesting anecdotes, no humorous tales, no jokes, no limericks, no nothing. I had barely experienced life at all but by the time I lived through this experience, I was a man of much knowledge. He told me that he had not always had a canine traveling companion. He told of once having a primate friend. He said that he liked monkeys of all kinds. He mused about the ones that had no tail and we debated our various theories as to how this could have come to be. The we discussed monkeys that do have tails and then we compared our likes and dislikes of each. We also wondered aloud what it must be like to have a tail. He said that if he had only one wish to be granted to him by a genie or some other mythical entity, he would wish for a tail. I said, “Man, you must be crazy, you could have a new suit, a hot meal, or that rip in your coat repaired!” He just laughed and said, “Now, you see, that’s where we’re different, maybe those things appeal to you and that’s fine, but I just wants me a tail.” At that moment I began to suspect that he just might not be quite right in the head.
シッポのない猿について熟考していた。俺たちはどうしてそうなったのか様々な理由を考えてみた。そこで俺たちはシッポのある猿と好みについて話し合った。俺たちは自分たちにもシッポが生えたらどんなだろうと考えた。もしもランプの精や他の神話に登場するようなものが願い事がひとつだけ叶えるとしたらシッポを願うといった。俺は「おじさん、おかしいよ。新しいスーツとかあたたかい食事とか、その破れたコートの修繕とか願うべきことは他にもあるだろ？」といった。「そこが俺たちの違いだよ。お前さんはそういうものが魅力的かもしれないし、それはそれで構わない。でも俺はシッポが欲しいんだよ」彼は笑って言った。
そのとき俺はこの男の頭が少しいかれてるのではないかと疑いを持った。
Well, it had been about three days now I suppose and we became great friends. We went along our way talking about murder, suicide, disembowelment, sports, weather and anything else that might just come to mind. It was one of the most memorable times
of my young life. One day we were sitting and resting under a large shade tree on the edge of a river. The breeze was cool, there were large white clouds drifting by above as though we weren’t even there. There were birds singing in the trees (where else?) and there was not another person to be seen or heard. All of a sudden he leaned over to me and said, “Do you know what I like to do to little boys like you?” Well, how could I know? He had never told me! I sat for a moment and thought about it. I figured that he would tell me if I couldn’t guess it but I wanted to figure it out on my own. For the life of me I couldn’t think of one thing to answer with. Finally I said, “no, can’t say as do know.” He said, “Nevermind”, and went for a walk along the riverbank. In a moment, he yelled out, “come here, quick.” I ran to where he was standing with a stunned look on his face. I asked, “ What is it?” I only asked because I didn’t know what it was and wanted him to tell me. I didn’t see anything there. He said, “Oh, nothing, I thought I saw a monkey there.” I must say from that point on I was very suspicious of his behavior. I had concerns before but not suspicions. I’d never been a suspicious person up until that point in my life but I actually thought that maybe I was in some kind of danger. I’m not sure just what it was but there was just this nagging feeling inside that I believe was some kind of warning to be careful.
About a mile down the road the old fellow, I never asked his name, myself, and his dog stopped and bedded down for the night. We made a bed of pine needles, grass, and some sticks that we found near the site. It looked like the perfect place to call home for a few hours. The night was uneventful and we awoke to a bright sun and quite a number of bugs crawling on us. I still believe to this day that some of them crawled in my nose while I was asleep and are living in a colony somewhere inside me. As we arose and began to stretch our sore muscles in preparation for our day’s trek, I noticed a large bulge in his pants that I was sure was not there the previous day. The dog also noticed and began to bark incessantly at the noticeably large protrusion. I asked, “what’s that in your pants?” He looked down and asked, “What are you talking about, where?” I pointed rather rudely at the enormous lump. He still didn’t see it. I said, “reach behind you and feel.” He did and as he did there was such an awful expression of surprise and wonder on his face. He said, “What tha…..?” It was obvious that he didn’t want to offend me with he language, he was always very polite about that. He ripped his zipper down his pants and jerked them down as fast as it was possible for anyone to do so, faster than I’d ever seen him do it any time prior to that. IT WAS A TAIL!!!!
I can only begin to tell you the look on his face. It was a mixture of delight, horror, wonder, disgust, and perhaps even indignation. I said, “Well, I guess you’ll think you’re too good to even talk to me now!” He said, “Naw, I’m still the same person but I do feel different.” It was a dream come true for him. I knew that my journey with him was nearly finished. I knew that the time was drawing near for us to part company. I wasn’t going to be seen in
the company of a freak! What would people think? I asked him, “Now that you have that tail that you wished so long for, what do you think you’ll do?” He thought for a minute, he scratched hi head, he looked up at the clouds as though the answer would mysteriously be revealed to him. Then he had the strangest look on his face. He looked as though he had suddenly heard of a close relative dying. He screamed so loudly that I’m sure that anyone within several miles heard him. I asked him what was the problem. He said, “OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TAIL!” Then, with tears streaming down his cheeks, he said, “I’m a freak!” “Well, yeah, of course you are”, I said. “Did you think that you wouldn’t be when you wished for it?” He explained that he just never thought about it. He just thought it would be neat. I thought that was rather irresponsible but who was I to judge? He ran screaming into the trees nearby and didn’t return for an hour or so. When he returned, the tail was gone. He explained that he had cut it off with a sharp rock that he had found and threw it as far as he could. Then his dog had ran after it and picked it up and ran off with it. He realized that having a tail is a big responsibility and he just wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t know if he ever would be, it was just too frightening. He had lost his long wished for tail and his dog at the same time.
After that incident, we parted and went our separate ways. I never saw the old man again but never forgot him and never will. A few years ago I was walking along that same road and near the trees where that terrible event took place. I sat beneath that same tree and reflected back on what happened. It all seemed like a dream, or nightmare, depending on how you look at it. Suddenly I caught the glimpse of a small brown figure out of the corner of my eye. It gave me a bit of a fright until I realized what it was. It was that same dog. I could see as he came closer that he was carrying something in his mouth but I couldn’t quite make out what it was. As he came closer, I could clearly see what it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I had to look even though I felt somewhat nauseated. It was the partially decayed carcass of a raccoon that had been hit by a car on the nearby highway.
THE END
Written by : Bob
以前は背景に色があったためもう少し読みやすかった。今は白い背景に黄色い文字なので読みにくく反転が必要だ。この話の翻訳をやりたいと思う。
" IF GOD HAD A TAIL"
神にシッポが生えていたら
When monkeys are ambiguous will we begin to see things differently? When all the world’s primates are seen only as spectacles to be enjoyed by the rest of us and not appreciated for their true value, will we think of ourselves as kings of the world? Has any one really learned to exploit them for their fur and meat?
Sure they are fun to have as pets, they are a favorite at circuses and zoos, but would you want your daughter to marry one? Would you want to live next door to one? Have you seen how they live? Have you seen their toilet habits? Have you seen their sexual habits? Have you seen how they behave in the grocery store? I won’t even mention that whole thing about throwing their feces. On second thought, maybe we could stand to learn a thing or two from them.
Moving about as we do from place to place on this planet, it isn’t so easy to leave the world behind, is it? Have you tried living without it? I remember a time when I was hitchhiking from home to a friend’s house in the dead of summer. I only had a toothbrush, a sock, some ointment and some used underwear with me. Try doing that in some communist country. Anyway, everything went fine until I met a derelict under a railroad overpass. He said that he had been there for three days and asked if he could travel with me for a while. I saw no harm in it so allowed him to accompany me. He seemed rather nervous and his dog seemed a bit concerned. I didn’t know what to make of all of this. If I hadn’t been only five years old I would have likely ignored the signs but I could not. As we traveled on, I grew increasingly suspicious. He kept telling stories about how he had killed various drifters, farmers, schoolchildren, and vagrants. I figured that he just liked to talk and pretended to be interested in what he said. He talked of decapitating, mutilating, cannibalizing, slashing, stomping, and various other words that I can’t mention here. He was a likeable old fellow for the most part. I really didn’t have much to say to him. I had no sordid stories to tell, no interesting anecdotes, no humorous tales, no jokes, no limericks, no nothing. I had barely experienced life at all but by the time I lived through this experience, I was a man of much knowledge. He told me that he had not always had a canine traveling companion. He told of once having a primate friend. He said that he liked monkeys of all kinds. He mused about the ones that had no tail and we debated our various theories as to how this could have come to be. The we discussed monkeys that do have tails and then we compared our likes and dislikes of each. We also wondered aloud what it must be like to have a tail. He said that if he had only one wish to be granted to him by a genie or some other mythical entity, he would wish for a tail. I said, “Man, you must be crazy, you could have a new suit, a hot meal, or that rip in your coat repaired!” He just laughed and said, “Now, you see, that’s where we’re different, maybe those things appeal to you and that’s fine, but I just wants me a tail.” At that moment I began to suspect that he just might not be quite right in the head.
シッポのない猿について熟考していた。俺たちはどうしてそうなったのか様々な理由を考えてみた。そこで俺たちはシッポのある猿と好みについて話し合った。俺たちは自分たちにもシッポが生えたらどんなだろうと考えた。もしもランプの精や他の神話に登場するようなものが願い事がひとつだけ叶えるとしたらシッポを願うといった。俺は「おじさん、おかしいよ。新しいスーツとかあたたかい食事とか、その破れたコートの修繕とか願うべきことは他にもあるだろ？」といった。「そこが俺たちの違いだよ。お前さんはそういうものが魅力的かもしれないし、それはそれで構わない。でも俺はシッポが欲しいんだよ」彼は笑って言った。
そのとき俺はこの男の頭が少しいかれてるのではないかと疑いを持った。
Well, it had been about three days now I suppose and we became great friends. We went along our way talking about murder, suicide, disembowelment, sports, weather and anything else that might just come to mind. It was one of the most memorable times
of my young life. One day we were sitting and resting under a large shade tree on the edge of a river. The breeze was cool, there were large white clouds drifting by above as though we weren’t even there. There were birds singing in the trees (where else?) and there was not another person to be seen or heard. All of a sudden he leaned over to me and said, “Do you know what I like to do to little boys like you?” Well, how could I know? He had never told me! I sat for a moment and thought about it. I figured that he would tell me if I couldn’t guess it but I wanted to figure it out on my own. For the life of me I couldn’t think of one thing to answer with. Finally I said, “no, can’t say as do know.” He said, “Nevermind”, and went for a walk along the riverbank. In a moment, he yelled out, “come here, quick.” I ran to where he was standing with a stunned look on his face. I asked, “ What is it?” I only asked because I didn’t know what it was and wanted him to tell me. I didn’t see anything there. He said, “Oh, nothing, I thought I saw a monkey there.” I must say from that point on I was very suspicious of his behavior. I had concerns before but not suspicions. I’d never been a suspicious person up until that point in my life but I actually thought that maybe I was in some kind of danger. I’m not sure just what it was but there was just this nagging feeling inside that I believe was some kind of warning to be careful.
About a mile down the road the old fellow, I never asked his name, myself, and his dog stopped and bedded down for the night. We made a bed of pine needles, grass, and some sticks that we found near the site. It looked like the perfect place to call home for a few hours. The night was uneventful and we awoke to a bright sun and quite a number of bugs crawling on us. I still believe to this day that some of them crawled in my nose while I was asleep and are living in a colony somewhere inside me. As we arose and began to stretch our sore muscles in preparation for our day’s trek, I noticed a large bulge in his pants that I was sure was not there the previous day. The dog also noticed and began to bark incessantly at the noticeably large protrusion. I asked, “what’s that in your pants?” He looked down and asked, “What are you talking about, where?” I pointed rather rudely at the enormous lump. He still didn’t see it. I said, “reach behind you and feel.” He did and as he did there was such an awful expression of surprise and wonder on his face. He said, “What tha…..?” It was obvious that he didn’t want to offend me with he language, he was always very polite about that. He ripped his zipper down his pants and jerked them down as fast as it was possible for anyone to do so, faster than I’d ever seen him do it any time prior to that. IT WAS A TAIL!!!!
I can only begin to tell you the look on his face. It was a mixture of delight, horror, wonder, disgust, and perhaps even indignation. I said, “Well, I guess you’ll think you’re too good to even talk to me now!” He said, “Naw, I’m still the same person but I do feel different.” It was a dream come true for him. I knew that my journey with him was nearly finished. I knew that the time was drawing near for us to part company. I wasn’t going to be seen in
the company of a freak! What would people think? I asked him, “Now that you have that tail that you wished so long for, what do you think you’ll do?” He thought for a minute, he scratched hi head, he looked up at the clouds as though the answer would mysteriously be revealed to him. Then he had the strangest look on his face. He looked as though he had suddenly heard of a close relative dying. He screamed so loudly that I’m sure that anyone within several miles heard him. I asked him what was the problem. He said, “OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TAIL!” Then, with tears streaming down his cheeks, he said, “I’m a freak!” “Well, yeah, of course you are”, I said. “Did you think that you wouldn’t be when you wished for it?” He explained that he just never thought about it. He just thought it would be neat. I thought that was rather irresponsible but who was I to judge? He ran screaming into the trees nearby and didn’t return for an hour or so. When he returned, the tail was gone. He explained that he had cut it off with a sharp rock that he had found and threw it as far as he could. Then his dog had ran after it and picked it up and ran off with it. He realized that having a tail is a big responsibility and he just wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t know if he ever would be, it was just too frightening. He had lost his long wished for tail and his dog at the same time.
After that incident, we parted and went our separate ways. I never saw the old man again but never forgot him and never will. A few years ago I was walking along that same road and near the trees where that terrible event took place. I sat beneath that same tree and reflected back on what happened. It all seemed like a dream, or nightmare, depending on how you look at it. Suddenly I caught the glimpse of a small brown figure out of the corner of my eye. It gave me a bit of a fright until I realized what it was. It was that same dog. I could see as he came closer that he was carrying something in his mouth but I couldn’t quite make out what it was. As he came closer, I could clearly see what it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I had to look even though I felt somewhat nauseated. It was the partially decayed carcass of a raccoon that had been hit by a car on the nearby highway.
THE END
Written by : Bob
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